psyklops.com
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updated 6.6.03 |
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In the spring of 2001 I was diagnosed with OSA, or Obstructive Sleep Apnea. My life had been deteriorating for several years, starting in the late '80s. By the late '90's I had become pretty depressed; I had considerable loss of memory (both short-term and long-term), no motivation or concentration, chronic tiredness, mood swings... my life was going down the drain. I knew I had problems, but I couldn't see the big picture. I was afraid I had partied too much in the 80's, and that what was happening to me was permanent damage. This idea, along with being just plain out of it kept me from seeking any help for for many years; during which time things got progressively worse. Quite frankly, I wanted to end it all, but I didn't have the guts. I finally asked my Doctor if there was a test for the early detection of Alzheimer's, because that's what I felt like... something was eating my brain away. She started asking me what was really going on, so I finally described my situation. Good thing, because that was the start of the cure. She said I was Depressed and sent me to a psychiatrist. And this is where some good luck starts to factor in.... he was a really good doctor. I was expecting this guy would try to sign me up for years of therapy and prescriptions for Prozac, but instead, after a 2 hour interview, he said 'I don't think your brain is getting enough oxygen when you sleep.' And that is the sentence that changed my life. The psychiatrist sent me to a sleep disorders specialist who did a Sleep Study on me. I got wired up with a head full of sensors, and then went to sleep in a little cubicle. Lo and behold, I was having difficulty breathing correctly when sleeping and my blood oxygen level would drop dangerously low on occasion. Here's how it works: While you are awake, the muscles in your throat open a little every time you breathe in; it's automatic. As you go to sleep, you start going down through the 4 phases of sleep. Phases 1 & 2 are light sleep... phases 3 & 4 are deep sleep. When you go into deep sleep, your skeletal muscles go limp... they're 'turned off', so to speak. One of the reasons for this is so you don't act out your dreams. Well, the muscles in the throat stop opening up when you pass into deep sleep (phase 3), and if you have some blockage, or are overweight, your air supply gets pinched off. This is not Narcolepsy, where you stop breathing; it's more like being at the top of Mt Everest without air tanks.... you are breathing but not getting enough air. So now that I knew that I had a real problem, and that there were things to help me, I started to feel better. The sleep specialist told me the standard treatment was to use a pump/mask device called CPAP that would force air into my lungs, but I hated the idea of being tethered to this thing all night. And then it dawned on me... I still had my tonscils, and they were huge. Doctors had always commented on how big those suckers were. And, I had been putting on the pounds over the years. Putting 1 + 1 together it seemed to me that the toncils were blocking airflow. So, I went to a head & neck surgeon at UCLA, and told him what was going on. He took one look down my throat, and immediately starting writing out a surgical order. He said simply 'This is going to help you a lot'. In addition to a tonsillectomy, they removed the little flap at the back of my mouth (the uvula), and used a laser to remove some of the tissue on the base of my tongue (the part down in the throat). The surgeon said my tonsils were almost 3 times their normal size... he asked me how I could swallow vitamin pills. He said that it was like I was breathing through a straw when I slept. Well, after a night in the hospital, I went home. I had no idea what to expect... I was pretty sure the clouds weren't going to part and an angelic choir would start to sing. In fact, I had been told the operation may not help at all. So I ate my jello and waited. On the 3rd night after the operation, I had a dream. What I neglected to mention before was that I hadn't dreamt in years... like, over a decade. (That was part of what made me think I had brain damage.) Now I was having a dream. And I mean a Steven Spielberg THX Technicolor Surround-Sound extravaganza. It was amazing. I knew at that moment that the operation was a success. It's been about a year and a half now, and I am so much better, it's getting hard for me to remember the down and out person I was (that's one memory I'm grateful to be losing!). My memory is coming back slowly.... regarding short-term stuff, I can remember a phone number now for a couple of minutes (used to be about 5 seconds). Long-term... well, that's an interesting thing. It's like there's a fog over the memories of my life, and the sun is just starting to burn it off. Memories will just pop into my head... sometimes triggered by a conversation, sometimes just random images float in. It's really weird. I feel that I haven't lost my memories, but they are covered up; and I have to coax them back out into the light. If I had Apnea for 15 years or so, it will take some time to reverse the damage; I'm guessing 2 - 3 years for the most part. I will probably never remember my life as fully as I used to, like the 'movies' that play in your head. But, I'm alive, I'm happy, and I'm building new memories. If you know of something that you think I should remember (besides me owing you money...) drop me a line at chris@psyklops.com. This is an awful condition, and it's not that uncommon. In fact, anything that keeps you from getting restful sleep is hurting you, probably more than you know. Most health insurances recognize sleep disorders as valid claims... Blue Shield covered my sleep study and operation. If you suspect something's not right, ask your doctor for a Sleep Study. It'll tell you right away if there's a problem. For more information about Sleep Apnea, check out these sites: |
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